Sunday, 27 November 2011

Don't get stuck in a swamp with your friends


This is the answer to comment from Joi:
"Realizing that we have more power than we give ourselves credit for helps a lot. Sometimes we just have to switch people OFF the way we do our television or radio when they annoy us!"
It is obvious that usually we communicate with people who we like and avoid those we don't. However, there are situations when we think we have to stand annoying persons for some reason. I will not go deeply into relations with strangers or acquaintances this time. Just a short notice:

You have almost all possible ways to avoid communication with strangers that bother you. Just don't let guilt or underconfidence stop you. You can behave in a same way with aquaintances unless you don't want to break with them off completelly. In this case you can tell them you're either not interested in (or even hate) the particular topic or don't have time for it. In any way remember that you have no obligation to communicate with either of them.

Friends and relatives are a different case. The hardest part here is to actually understand that some of them make you feel sad or depressed. It is a common thing that there are successful people who walk the walk and those who are stuck in a swamp and try to suck as many people with them as possible. Let me explain.

Say you have some idea. You share it with a person and s/he finds tons of reasons why you shouldn't even bother with that. S/he'll tell you the stories of those who tried smth similar and failed, warns you about those difficulties here and there.

In the second case the person agrees with you that it is a great idea and is eager to join you in its realization. But he cannot spare a minute today. Tomorrow perhaps or the next week or well later. Just a little bit later. You wait for him ask him what's the progress and s/he is still eager to participate. S/he will discuss all the tiny details with you, show you their interest yet do nothing practical... Untill you burn out and leave your idea for good.

Now I may be saying a harsh thing, still: these people are loosers. But not just that. They make you become a looser too! They are stuck im their swamp of routine and fears and suck everyone who gets close to them.

A golden rule of all sucessful people is not to communicate with loosers. Never listen to advices of loosers. How dare they advice you something if they cannot improve even their own life! And what kind of advices do they tell you: "don't do this and that because I know it'll make you no good". The fact is they won't see any good in whatever you do. But they do so not because they are bad.

I used to have two friends who were nice people by all means. We loved to dine together, visited each other often, enjoyed speaking about different things. But when it came to something more important like joint business one of them started complaining like "what if we fail" without even starting, and the other one gave hope by joining me, gave 1000 and 1 advice on how to work out some details of little importance but never did a thing.

Now if you realize that someone makes you feel bad in some way - choose between friendship and your sanity. Don't let them imbog you. Switch them off.


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