Sunday, 27 November 2011

Step 2: Accept people as they are (but don't let them upset you)

In step 1 you learnt to accept yourself as you are with all the good and bad sides of your personality (well I hope you did). Now what about other people. They are annoying, they are rude, they are.. they are what they are and most of the times you can do nothing about it. When a person does not want to change - it is almost impossible to to change her/him.

Having read the above you can go sit in the corner and mourn about the unjust way of life. Which of course won't help you. Or you can get furious with the whole world and treat people the bastards they are no matter who. That won't help too.

What will help is an attempt to gain control over every situation. Have you made a list of people who stress you over and over again? Time to deal with each of them depending on every single detail. You know that people are all different. Not everyone who annoys you really means it. They may just never know you're annoyed or sad because of them untill you explain them in a proper way. So if someone disturbs you - don't close yourself, try not to go mad right away - just tell the person that you are not comfortable with what they did and ask not to do that anymore. Try to find some compromise together - it is available in the most of situations unless one of the sides is too stubborn to accept it.

If you are sure that normal dialog is impossible then don't be a victim! Why is it you who should always suffer because of others? Tell the person that you are uncomfortable (if you don't - nothing will change!) make them understand that you're a person and you have an opinion.

It is not always necessary to be rude. In my opinion it is always better not to raise your voice, but if someone tries to interrupt you - just keep talking. When I practiced the things I describe here my usually silent voice turned into strong and 'metallic'. Strong voice means a strong person - practice your voice and tone. When talking to the person also be in a strong position: ask questions and try not to sound guilty or apologetic. It is you who was disturbed than it is a disturbant who is meant to apologize.

Later on after a single succesful dialog you will be proud of yourself. Remeber it! Remember each your success. You will need these memories for self-help. Done? Let's move on to Step 3!


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